Learning From Experience - A MUST READ!! PLEASE!
How many of us know people OR have our own family members that do not learn from "the lesson"? Family members or friends either get sick or pass away from obesity or bad habit related diseases. Instead of learning, they stay on their own path to destruction no matter what life lesson is thrown at them. This week I am out of town at a conference. There is a gentleman here who I see very rarely, and he was surprised when he saw me last night. You see, he hasn't seen me in some time, and I am quite a bit smaller than I was the last time we were around each other. I have also had several people comment about me not eating dessert at lunch, or foregoing the bread with our meals. One lady commented that I had "some really strong will power." All this conversation has opened some doors to talk about my weight-loss journey with others this week, in particular, my "why". Again, we need to take a hard look at those life lessons & LEARN! Steve knows that all too well. http://stanfordhospital.org/clinicsmedServices/COE/surgicalServices/generalSurgery/bariatricsurgery/obesity/effects.html Watching someone close to us suffer these problems with increasing frequency can be both disheartening and painful. It has been personally frustrating, as I’ve seen friends and loved ones sacrifice so much of the potential of their physical and emotional life to this condition, and I have not been able to help them. Setting an example is often the best I can offer, and it has not been enough.
I have seen this first hand. I have a family member that continues to "kill himself" with alcohol & cigarettes even though we have lost family members to these problems.
Steve, at Log My Loss, is living this right now. I asked Steve to write a few words for me & I am telling you, if this does not hit home for some of you out there, I don't know what will!! Please read below from Steve & forward to anyone you know that needs to read this!
You see, a vain why is fine, and it may motivate you to lose weight, but it wasn't enough for me. It took me realizing that I was effectively shortening my life by years to finally wake me up. I contend that the number one health hazard in the United States, as well as much of the world, isn't the myriad of disorders we are presented with daily. Instead, it is simply being overweight and out of shape, which contribute to many of the ailments that we suffer from today, including diabetes, heart disease, and many others.
Dr. J too! Take a read at his guest post below AND by the way, Dr. J is up & running at CalorieLab & very fast now! YAHOO!
Lessons to learn, wisdom to earn:
Several years ago my life was a social train wreck! At the time I had a new friend who was beginning a successful career as a psychological therapist. We are still the best of friends. I asked him, “Why didn’t you tell me what I was doing to my life back then?”
“If I had, you never would have listened,” was his reply.
“Maybe not, but at least someone would have told me!”
Perhaps like the lonely tree falling in the forest, his advice would not have been heard. Maybe what I really needed was that tree to fall on me!
Learning lesions:
Sometimes it seems that initially a leaf may fall on you. If that is ignored, then a branch may try to get our attention. That failing, the tree may be on its way!
The world has a way of teaching, or at least offering us the opportunity to learn lessons. If we don’t pay attention to the messages that we are hearing, the volume often gets louder, and the lessons get more numerous and possibly more severe. This is not due to some master’s plan, but simply to the natural function of how we repeat behaviors, both good and bad until we refine our actions. That’s the way we learned not to pick up hot objects as a child, and the way we often have to learn many other scalding lessons.
I’ve seen this story play out too many times with obesity and its many negative physical and psychosocial effects.
I had a very recent conversation with someone who, as they said, “made the choices that did this to me,” as they were lamenting the scars on both their knees from obesity related degenerative joint disease knee replacement surgeries.
I wish he would change his behaviors and learn new habits. That’s what we have to do to either reverse or prevent obesity related effects on our health We must learn the lessons and earn the wisdom to make our needed changes.
The day that changed me:
That day in the karate studio when my sensei told me with sharp simplicity that, “ J, you are getting FAT!” That’s all it took. I realized he was right, and I began to make changes that corrected the problem. It didn’t happen overnight, but I then began a series of new behaviors that changed the direction of where I was heading. Establishing these new habits have kept me on track to this day.
I’ve heard it said that “knowledge is learning something every day, and wisdom is forgetting something every day.” Sometimes I look at that as meaning that we must learn and repeat new helpful habits every day, and forget, and stop doing the old unhelpful habits every day. Combine doing the new, and not doing the old and you won’t have to, one day, regret what you did to yourself like my friend.
You may not believe or hear me about the problems that obesity will cause in your future, but now at least, you have been told. After all, I am in the school of, “if you keep leading a horse to water, eventually they may be thirsty!”
So, to all of you out there that have learned some lessons, please share. For others that have not, what is it going to take for you to learn.. don't wait too long because we do not live forever, a lesson many of us learn to early in life!
PLEASE forward to people you know need to hear this... death is a tough way to learn the lesson... especially for those left behind.
A huge Thank You to Steve and Dr. J!
Categories: Health Issues, Health, Motivation/Support, Guest Posts, Weight Loss, Life Experiences
Tags: Weight Loss lifestyle Health Issues obesity health Dr. J Log My Loss
I learned a lesson as an overweight teenager... kids are cruel to fat kids. so, i am doing everything to make sure my kids are in good health for this reason, and many other important reasons that you have touched on, Jody. but... we all know what it is like to be teased; or worse, ignored
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Yes, we do know it is like to be teased...
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Those of us that get this wake up call, that lesson learned; get it from an impacting event upon their lives. Yet others ignore many such events their whole lives. Are those that ignore ignorant? Perhaps it is really that those of us who recognize the need to make a change are lucky. Analyze as you choose, but easy result to conclude is that not enough of us recognize these events and die young obese and take unfulfilled potential to the grave. That was my father & grand father, it will not be me. IT WILL NOT!
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Patrick, I know YOU WILL NOT let it happen to you!
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"Don't wait too long because we do not live forever...."
Here's an irony in that statement: I live in an area with a high concentration of evangelical Christians. I have had may as weight-loss clients over the years, a few have succeeded, most have failed. Upon giving up, and I hear this very regularly, many will tell me (paraphrased), "When I get to Heaven I won't be obese anymore anyway..."
I'm not joking, I have heard that a dozen times. I guess my point Jody, sadly, is that there are many people who truly do believe they will live forever and thus, are not motivated to change while here on earth.
This was a very good post!!!
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I hate to say but we are not going to live forever & we really do not know what is after death..... For people that want to play the fool themselves game, that is their choice,but I am not on board... and since I am living it right now, I want to be able to enjoy it BUT be healthy & able to do things I want to do. Obesity does stop people from doing many things they want to do...
Hard for you as the trainer Roy!
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I'd love it if you did a follow-up on this post based on what you hear from those out there who haven't made the necessary changes. How would they/do they react when someone tells them their concerns about their health. Are they open to it or annoyed. I ask because there is someone very dear to me who I'm so concerned about and don't know how he'd react.
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I have not heard from anyone that takes the side of I will not hear or listen. I can tell you from personal experience from my family member, which we have talked to.... he is giving up... he knows the truth but just will not do what it takes.. very sad!
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I LOVE this post. So important to learn the 'lesson'. I really love this quote so true in everyday LIFE! 'knowledge is learning something every day, and wisdom is forgetting something every day'
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Thanks for sharing your story Steve.
And Dr. J - I can't help but think about the irony of Oprah when I read your words. She is all about that whisper that gets louder stuff yet clearly has not learned enough yet to handle her own struggles with weight. But she inspires many all the same and is a work in progress like so many of us.
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Karen, I mention Oprah on a comment somewhere about all the money in the world is not going to buy healthy, fit & thinner.. you have to do the hard work yourself...
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You're welcome.
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Two great stories--thanks to Steve and Dr. J. for sharing them!
I was already beginning my "tippy toe" improvements when a long-time friend experienced something that solidified for me the changes I was making. She went to the doctor for a couple of small bumps on her leg. One test led to another and a week later, she had triple bypass surgery. She'd known she was diabetic for a few years, but hadn't done anything to take control and correct her behaviors. So then she was diabetic AND had heart disease. After the heart surgery, she had to have kidney surgery. And then she developed complications from that. And so on and so on. Last year I gave the eulogy at her funeral. She was 59 years old, but had only really lived for about 50 of those years. Her health complications consumed her last decade on this earth.
As each of her medical problems made themselves known, I knew I had made the right changes and that I wanted more change in my future. I'm not perfect by anyone's measure, but I'm living life and trying to take steps to make it a longer one.
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Cammy, thank you so much for sharing this very sad story!!! You should share it on your blog & I will mention it too.... hugs to you!
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You are welcome. It is like I told Jody, if it makes a difference in one person, the story is worth it.
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Good to be here at Jody's place!!
Yeah, we're using the 1-2-3 jab-cross-hook today, but instead of a knockout we are hoping for a wake up
Karen, come from how you feel, not what to do. Tell them you are worried about them.
Oprah is a wonderful person and fighting her own battle. At 56 she is entering the years where her health is at risk from her weight. I hope nothing happens to her that becomes an inspiration for others. I prefer people be positive examples.
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Dr. J, thank you so much for being part of this post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Jody this is so great! I, like Steve, became afraid I wouldn't be around for my children and that I would end up housebound or worse.
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Diane, you are setting a great example now! You did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Lesson learned as to why I want to keep my weight off.
One of the owner's of my gym died in his sleep from reflux. Ironically he did not have the best eating habits and was a little overweight.
He was only in his mid 30s. That is a wakeup call for sure.
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