Can You Define Yourself?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
So I was reading a post over at Patrick's blog, Responsibility 199 , and he answered some questions about himself & then asked at the end, Can You Define Yourself? This really got me thinking.. again... as I know I really have a hard time with this question!
Let me backtrack.... he started out talking about those emails we get that ask us to answer a million questions about ourselves & then forward on to our friends & have them forward back to us. Crap, I am exhausted already just writing that!
BUT, he answered 4 of them and related them back to his journey to lose weight. Do check out his post ! He currently weighs 297 pounds so his answers are very interesting as seen below.
Most people don't know that...
I have climbed a mountain (Mt. Fuji, Japan /1986)
The item stolen from me that bugged me the most was...
My new mountain bike, it cost more than I should have spent at the time and took me over a year to replace (1988)
A moment in which I was beyond extremely proud of myself, other than the typical birth of child, wedding, etc., was...
Completing the Volkslauf, a 10k race over a course of muddy tracks, pits, and other obstacles, with my buddy's as a team in 52 minutes and change (1987)
An awkward moment I'd like to 'do-over' was...
When my mom caught finishing the last cookie an entire package of Salerno butter cookies (c. 1977)
He then went on to say:
"...why did I peel those off to share here? Do they define me? Define who I was? I mean I weigh nearly 300 pounds here today; how can I be the same guy who climbed a mountain, was mad about mountain biking, and could not only run a 10k but do it over a grueling course of mud and water and obstacles that I couldn't even imagine tackling today? I chose those three because they are who I am. That beast of my youth is still within me, albeit I've sent him off on a long hibernation, but he is still there. And now, in 2010, he awakens slowly and he will once again be a part of what defines who I am."
Of course, then he goes on to ask the dreaded question: Can You Define Yourself? A question that has been my nemesis thru the years.
Honestly, I actually really dislike this question. Nothing to do with Patrick. It is a great & interesting question. For me, I don't know if it is because I can't define myself the way I really wish to be or that I don't like to define myself in put myself into a box or that I just don't want to face the reality of it OR that I am just a work in progress always and I want it to me that way so I don't get boxed in. Realistically, it may be some of all of these points.
I used to define myself, sort of. I remember when I was very young & I can remember back as far as elementary school, not feeling good enough. I am not sure why that young but I remember being decent at athletic type things so I defined myself by how many cartwheels I could do or how long I could hula hoop & things like that because I was good at them & usually better than my playmates.. yet I still did not feel as good as them personally. Maybe because I took on fatness in those years. I also was Jewish in towns that were pretty prejudice.
In junior high I was good at cheerleading and decent at sports. By this time, still fat, I knew if I studied very hard, I could do well in most subjects but still not happy with myself & defined myself by how good I was in more athletic things. Once again, Jewish in a town that was pretty prejudice.
PS: I don't think the being Jewish had to do with all these probs but I am sure it added to my insecurities as people spoke bad to you, about you & behind your back.
High school brought me to CA & hard enough to move from small towns while in school but from small towns to busy CA & high school, tough stuff. I made friends & did well in school for the most part but was not really defining myself in any way but trying to do good academically until I made drill team in my junior year. I was good at it but the "I am less than" stayed with me.
I hit college. Defining myself by expectations to be there & study a business type of field so I could support myself after college. No real finding me there either. It was all about studying & getting the degree. That was me.
Once I was out of college.. expectations were the rule & I looked & went to work in the corporate world. Yes, I was lucky enough to find my hubby & obviously that has worked out well.. although there were many bumps along the road, but defining myself beyond work became once again, my athletic abilities. I joined a gym right out of college. Once I was married, I joined Family Fitness in 1982 which now is 24 Hour Fitness. I was good at the things I did in there & felt good when I was in the gym. Outside the gym, not so much... and that has stayed the same. Not really ever sure how good I felt about the things outside of my athletic ability even though they are not athlete status, they are good enough for me.
I guess I am saying that expectations of others seemed to be the rule for me from very early on.....
It is not that I don't feel good outside the gym at all, it is just I feel best in there doing things I do well & feel accomplished at & make me feel good. I feel like I define myself by my fitness & muscles. I am not sure whether that is good or bad. I used to think it was bad that I could not define myself any other way. But now, it is who I am in terms of what I like & feel good at so maybe defining myself as that is not such a bad thing. Maybe I am OK with that!
The question for me is still up in the air.....
Do you define yourself? Do you care or want to? Your thoughts?
So I was reading a post over at Patrick's blog, Responsibility 199 , and he answered some questions about himself & then asked at the end, Can You Define Yourself? This really got me thinking.. again... as I know I really have a hard time with this question!
Let me backtrack.... he started out talking about those emails we get that ask us to answer a million questions about ourselves & then forward on to our friends & have them forward back to us. Crap, I am exhausted already just writing that!
BUT, he answered 4 of them and related them back to his journey to lose weight. Do check out his post ! He currently weighs 297 pounds so his answers are very interesting as seen below.Most people don't know that...
I have climbed a mountain (Mt. Fuji, Japan /1986)
The item stolen from me that bugged me the most was...
My new mountain bike, it cost more than I should have spent at the time and took me over a year to replace (1988)
A moment in which I was beyond extremely proud of myself, other than the typical birth of child, wedding, etc., was...
Completing the Volkslauf, a 10k race over a course of muddy tracks, pits, and other obstacles, with my buddy's as a team in 52 minutes and change (1987)
An awkward moment I'd like to 'do-over' was...
When my mom caught finishing the last cookie an entire package of Salerno butter cookies (c. 1977)
He then went on to say:
"...why did I peel those off to share here? Do they define me? Define who I was? I mean I weigh nearly 300 pounds here today; how can I be the same guy who climbed a mountain, was mad about mountain biking, and could not only run a 10k but do it over a grueling course of mud and water and obstacles that I couldn't even imagine tackling today? I chose those three because they are who I am. That beast of my youth is still within me, albeit I've sent him off on a long hibernation, but he is still there. And now, in 2010, he awakens slowly and he will once again be a part of what defines who I am."
Of course, then he goes on to ask the dreaded question: Can You Define Yourself? A question that has been my nemesis thru the years.
Honestly, I actually really dislike this question. Nothing to do with Patrick. It is a great & interesting question. For me, I don't know if it is because I can't define myself the way I really wish to be or that I don't like to define myself in put myself into a box or that I just don't want to face the reality of it OR that I am just a work in progress always and I want it to me that way so I don't get boxed in. Realistically, it may be some of all of these points.
I used to define myself, sort of. I remember when I was very young & I can remember back as far as elementary school, not feeling good enough. I am not sure why that young but I remember being decent at athletic type things so I defined myself by how many cartwheels I could do or how long I could hula hoop & things like that because I was good at them & usually better than my playmates.. yet I still did not feel as good as them personally. Maybe because I took on fatness in those years. I also was Jewish in towns that were pretty prejudice.
In junior high I was good at cheerleading and decent at sports. By this time, still fat, I knew if I studied very hard, I could do well in most subjects but still not happy with myself & defined myself by how good I was in more athletic things. Once again, Jewish in a town that was pretty prejudice.
PS: I don't think the being Jewish had to do with all these probs but I am sure it added to my insecurities as people spoke bad to you, about you & behind your back.
High school brought me to CA & hard enough to move from small towns while in school but from small towns to busy CA & high school, tough stuff. I made friends & did well in school for the most part but was not really defining myself in any way but trying to do good academically until I made drill team in my junior year. I was good at it but the "I am less than" stayed with me.
I hit college. Defining myself by expectations to be there & study a business type of field so I could support myself after college. No real finding me there either. It was all about studying & getting the degree. That was me.
Once I was out of college.. expectations were the rule & I looked & went to work in the corporate world. Yes, I was lucky enough to find my hubby & obviously that has worked out well.. although there were many bumps along the road, but defining myself beyond work became once again, my athletic abilities. I joined a gym right out of college. Once I was married, I joined Family Fitness in 1982 which now is 24 Hour Fitness. I was good at the things I did in there & felt good when I was in the gym. Outside the gym, not so much... and that has stayed the same. Not really ever sure how good I felt about the things outside of my athletic ability even though they are not athlete status, they are good enough for me.
I guess I am saying that expectations of others seemed to be the rule for me from very early on.....
It is not that I don't feel good outside the gym at all, it is just I feel best in there doing things I do well & feel accomplished at & make me feel good. I feel like I define myself by my fitness & muscles. I am not sure whether that is good or bad. I used to think it was bad that I could not define myself any other way. But now, it is who I am in terms of what I like & feel good at so maybe defining myself as that is not such a bad thing. Maybe I am OK with that!
The question for me is still up in the air.....
Do you define yourself? Do you care or want to? Your thoughts?
Tomorrow is a great tag team post about “do you do what you know”. A must read.. stop by!
Posted by truth2beingfit at 6/7/2010 9:00 PM 
Categories: Challenges, Life, Life Experiences, Weights, Exercise
Tags: defining you body image acceptance growth Exercise weights fitness life experiences challenges choices
Categories: Challenges, Life, Life Experiences, Weights, Exercise
Tags: defining you body image acceptance growth Exercise weights fitness life experiences challenges choices
as we have "discussed"before I can relate to so so much of what you shared above.
(and thank you for sharing)
for me the selfdefinition and the personal mission statement are inextricably tied.
who I am now.
who I was.
and whom I daily strive to become.
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You definitley live it Carla!
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I think that some people have an easier time with this than others do and it's just their personality or tendency towards enjoying and being very self-aware. I have to work at it. Great question and I'm going to give it some thought. I admire you Jody!
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Thx Diane! I guess like I am a work in progress body wise for my life journey.. maybe that is true for me.. no definition needed as I am always a work in progress! Sometimes a good thing...
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I think so, but it can either be a simple or complicated question depending on how you look at it. Right now I am really working on not allowing the scale to define me...
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Kat, that is a good thing!
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I don't formally define myself, but I know who I am. Even so, I also know I change a little bit daily.
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I like that Steve... I like the moving change each day!
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Like you Jody, I don't put much effort into defining myself. I do notice how society likes to label people, although I don't know if that is a definition. I've certainly known a few people who didn't limit themselves with a narrow definition, and they have set an example for me to work toward.
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I really like this Dr. J. Yes, society sure likes to define us if we let it.... Thx for your great comment!
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I definitely define myself based on my parenting skills. Above all else, I've always wanted to be a Mom, even as a child. If my children fail, I fail. If my children succeed, I succeed. Sometimes I have to step back and realize that there are factors outside myself that can lead to their success or failure, but I still feel it was and is my responsibility to make sure they have the tools they need.
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I think many are like you Karen.. they define themselves as a mom or parent. I really never wanted to be a mom so I never got to that point & others say it does not let one define who they are beyond the children & then that is hard when they leave the nest. I guess, to each their own & what they feel comfortable with!
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Great post Jody. Excellent job giving added thought to the notion of defining oneself. I don't believe defining yourself means you have to determine that definition, set it, and then that’s it. Defining yourself starts with understanding what you are capable of and then living up to that; again for starters. From there, the process of building on that definition, re-defining, should go on for a lifetime. Some people may slowly re-define or change little as the years roll on. Others may find it fitting to re-define annually. To each his/her own I suppose. For me, I've come to realize I am not this 290+ pound being who was recently 320 pounds, who I am is the guy who was once capable of being the mountain climber, biker, mud faced 10k slogging dude of my youth… that is what I am capable of and who I intend to re-define myself as today. From there, who knows. One thing I do know, it is going to be a blast getting there. Thanks as always for the inspiration Jody!
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Patrick, thx for your response AND for inspiring this post!
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wow! great post! yes, I have thought of this before...dr phil is a big believer in defining moments..he says that we all have at least 5...I still do not know what mine are??!!
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5 defining moments.... for me I can think of one.. the day I picked up weights & loved them!
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Awesome post! My answer:
I am a creative, ever changing, work in progress learning to live my life to the fullest! That way my slate is WIDE OPEN! Part of my current living is to step out of my comfort of what I am good at and combine that with what I want to try and have held myself back from... Progress not perfection for me, today anyway!
Loved this Jody! Thank you!
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Jules, I love that.. progress not perfection! And yes, I see myself as a work in progress always...
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WOW! This is a great post. Definitely changing for myself. I will have to reflect on this post throughout the week to find the answer, but I know I define myself, just not sure how
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