Losing Weight is Not Fair
I bet you are all wondering what the heck the title of my post is all about. Am I not the one that says... JUST DO IT! Yes, that is me & I am still saying that!
But, let's look at some facts:
- We all have different body types.
- We all have different motivational factors.
- We all come to this from varying emotional backgrounds & emotional reasons for doing this.
- We all have certain foods we prefer over others.
- We all have certain activities we prefer to do over others.
- Our bodies do not all work the same.
This last one is one I really want to talk to today. You can take 5 people, tell them all to do the exact same thing & you will most likely get varying results. I know some people may argue with me on this but I have seen it. Listen, some people lose weight quicker than others, some lose it slower ... heck we all know that men in general (not all but most) will lose weight faster than a women weighing the same as them due to the fact that men have more testosterone & usually more muscle than women.
CRAP, no, it is not fair & I have been yelling this & mumbling this to myself for too many years to count. I understand it & know it is so & have seen how much harder I have had to work than most to achieve similar results. It has always been that way for me. I have always had to do more (both exercise & food wise)than my friends or others to lose weight. I worked harder & ate cleaner. But, this is the way it is...
I was out this past weekend & was in line behind a lady about my age who was in GREAT shape! I asked her what she did to stay in shape. She sort of laughed apologetically & told me that she really did not have to do anything & she had just come from eating a big ole Mexican lunch. She said she hates to tell people because she knows how hard others have to work & feels bad about it. She even had beautiful skin! Damn her!!!! 
I just laughed, told her how hard I work out & congratulated her on her good genes! Inside I wanted to punch her out.. No, I did not.. OK, yes I did BUT I understand this & have lived with this for years. Some just have better genes than others! And some people's bodies work better than others. This is life .. yes, it sucks at times but it is so!
On the flip side, I can build muscle way faster than a lot of women (and some men - YIKES!). This is good & bad. If you want muscles fast, I can get them. If you want to get big, I can do it. BUT, let's say you want to stay smaller & just be toned ... it actually is harder for me to do this than just get bigger muscles.. or at least when I was younger! As I age, I don't build as fast but I still do... BUT, I am thankful for my muscle cause I love it & feel strong & it makes me healthier & protects my bone health!
So, as we go through this weight loss & weight maintenance process, please keep all of the above in mind. DO NOT LET WHAT OTHERS DO OR WHAT OTHERS ACCOMPLISH "FIRST" DETER YOU!!! We are all unique. We all have to find our way & what works for us. And yes, we may have to do more than the person next to us or that dang hubby in the same house BUT the key is to stay focused on you & the great strides you are making for you..... we are all different.. remember that! What you have done is just as great as the other person next to you no matter what!
Ha, I agree, it's not fair!! I'm the type who gains weight very easily and has to keep up with it.
Buuut I also tend to build muscle fast. I suppose there are pros and cons to each body type and we just all have to see the good in what we were given : )
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Lesley, I am so like you. I look at food & it is on me! :-O I was like this when I was younger & even harder as I get older! But yes, we both can build muscle. Most people would say I have a more gymnastic looking body.
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Right on sister! You know my feelings on this. Too many people try to box themselves into a box where they don't belong. We are all different. Different isn't good or bad, it is different. We have to learn how to best use what God has given us.
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Steve, yes & well said! We just have to learn how to use it the best way we can. I like how you said that!
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I know the feeling, since I've got the same genes!! and I live with a hubby that can eat like a horse (or an elephant) and lose weight! I just accept this as a fact of life and adjust accordingly. No, it's not fair, that's for sure, but life isn't fair. There's so much unfairness in the world, it makes one's head want to explode. The key is to not allow it to make us so bitter or angry that it's counterproductive to our ability to progress. Our mother, unfortunately, had the same genes, but let her bitterness consume her a lot of the time and got in the way of her doing the things that would help her control her weight and, ultimately, make her happier. I guess it is a form of not being able to delay gratification (food) for something else (better physique, health, self image).
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Bethe, yup, unfairness everywhere! Trying not to be bitter & let the emotional aspect get to us is key!
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YES! I agree so unfair indeed! Men seem to lose weight so quickly and me..not so much...I seem to be gaining and losing the same 10 lbs for the last 10 years...when will it come off for good? Thanks for the reminder not to get frustrated at our wonderful bodies that work so hard for us everyday!
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Sian, don't let those frustrations get you to give up. Consistency is key! Remember that as we get older, things change, so you may have to change both your workouts & food plan too. I can't tell you how often I have done that over the years & even more now at this point in my life!
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i totally believe it, but i wouldn't call it "unfair". that's like saying it's unfair that we're all different!! it's a blessing!! and we see it all the time on the weight loss shows.. what works for someone doesn't work for another. you gotta find what works for you!!
my mother-in-law and i went to the same exercise classes, yet i lost more weight than her because i'm younger, and was more active during my day to begin with. so technically there's really no two people that do the "same exact thing" unless it's totally monitored and followed to the "T".
great post!!
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Cher, good way to look at this!!!! Yup, we always have to find what works for us!
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I do best by taking everyone else out of my fitness equation. It's all about me, all the time.
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Cammy, I loved this comment! I have to admit that I am the same way when it comes to my workouts & how I want to eat!
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I guess I'm in a more moderate camp than you, Jody. I do not think the differences between people is as large as others may feel. I believe this because I think it's a combination of nature and nurture. Our nature is very similar, but our nurture is more divergent, leading to variation, but variations that can be narrowed by behavioral changes. I could be wrong, however.
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Dr. J. I respect your opinion so glad you put it out there! Good point you made in your comment on nurture. But I do know I have always had to work harder!!!
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Oh, I totally agree with you. I've had the same best friend since I was six. When we were growing up, we lived at each other's houses, ate the same food all day and did the same activities. I was always so skinny people would tell me to eat more (oh, if they only knew how I packed it in, REALLY) and my girlfriend was always heavier set and people would tell her to eat less (she'd always stop before me- no need for six donuts for her, it was me with the sugar addiction).
I always felt grateful for my metabolism (and boy did I take advantage of it) and felt bad for her because she used to have to work SO hard.
Now the roles are somewhat reversed. After a lifetime of paying attention to what she eats, she has healthy habits and still looks fab. For me, it is an ongoing lesson, because now I fight the urge to eat as I did - now after 4 kids and in my late 30's the metabolism just isn't as fast as it was. Now I have to work out and pay attention - which I should have done a long time ago!
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Melanie, yup, age sure can do things to us!!!! Especially if you were one to have it easier when you were younger. I have friends that had no probs as young ones but now at this age we are now, well, they have had to learn how to do it right as you said in your comment!
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I had some "moments of reckoning" regarding this, was unhappy to accept it, went through lots of "it's not fair". My dad (and everyone else in my family) resents that my mom can eat everything and anything and not gain, and I had to accept that I can do this less than most. Life goes on....
Many have it much worse.
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Julie, great comment and YES, many have it worse! Good point!
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Did you write this post for me Jody...
I have been working so hard on my exercise and really eating cleanly and my progress is so slow. I am really trying to get beyond the number on the scale and focus on creating a healthy lifestyle. It is so much easier for me to do my thing and just focus on being healthy. The weight will come off eventually...
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Kat, YES, focus on you & not others.. focus on being healthy.. change the focus to make it work for you! Weight loss is tough in general so just remember how much you have accomplished & how healthy you are getting! If the scale is a prob for you, find a pair of pants that you try on to help measure loss.. it is not always reflected on the scale.
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