Saturday Funny about Weight Loss!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends......it will be their laugh for the day.
Have a great day from Jody!
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends......it will be their laugh for the day.
Have a great day from Jody!
I ate dry cat food on a dare once...just once.
Reply to this
Oh my goodness, I can't stop lauging! Did you really tell her that?
Reply to this
You didn't really tell her that did you?!! Well, even if you didn't, it was hysterically funny. My oldest son, when he was about 2, started to taste some dog food, but we fished most of it out of his mouth. He swears he remembers the incident, but he was so young, I'm just not sure if he does or not!
Reply to this
That's outrageous! I would have loved to have seen her face. Too funny. There are some nuts out there. Thanks for the laugh.
Reply to this
To all: this was just a joke passed on to me. I wish I had been witty enough to think this up! I LOVED the joke too much not to share!
Reply to this
LOL! You tell a great story and I can relate to your theatrical talents! I read somewhere that when people day stuff like that, they are just saying hello. Now google "Monkey Chow Diaries"
Reply to this